The Bitch Train's a'comin'. All aboard!

I haven't prepped much for this big challenge I've talked myself into.  I had planned on trying a few new things with my mother-in-law when she was here, since she's vegetarian, but she's the kind of vegetarian that usually prefers grilled cheese and french fries with a big side of dessert, so there wasn't much experimenting going on.  However, if I wanted to have a big junk food binge leading up to the challenge, well, I think I got my wish there! I've indulged in almost all of my favorite things I'm sure to miss, but I could always use another good cheeseburger or three.

For the first time last night, I actually looked on the calendar to see just how far away 100 days is...it's April 10! That seems so far away!  I'm a little afraid of how hard it's going to be.  Just yesterday, we were out of coffee, so I decided to "get ready" for caffeine withdrawals with some Diet Pepsi and my best friend, Excedrin, in lieu of the coffee.  I still ended up an edgy mess with a headache.  I wonder how long I'm going to feel miserable at the beginning of the challenge, and how long it will take to start feeling wonderful (assuming that happens.  I don't see why it wouldn't).

Still, I know there's going to be some rough times ahead for my friends and family.  I'm just going to have to apologize and keep apologizing for being a crabby bitch until I get into the groove of this.  I know it's going to be an adjustment for them too, just having to remember that there's one person in the house not eating any meat products.  I just hope at the end of it all it will have been worth it for them too.

Living in Orlando

Orlando is called The City Beautiful, and often it really is. One of our favorite things to do on Sundays is head down to Lake Eola for the farmer's market. Lake Eola is in downtown Orlando and right by Dax's office and a branch of the public library, so we're down there a lot. Dax and I each got early Christmas gifts of new bikes (love my bike! love it love it!). Dax rides his bike to work most days of the week. I'm still getting used to riding in a bigger city, but I'm getting used to some routes I like. Jack will be getting a new bike for Christmas (his is getting too small, and is only a 1-speed), and once that happens, I see a lot more big family bike outings in our future. But back to the farmer's market....I have no reason to post this other than it was taken after Jack had a snowcone there. <3

Such as I don't really have a good reason to post this picture of Kenny except that it's funny, he has a tutu/clown collar, and if Cori and I ever had a booth at the farmer's market, we'd sell tutus along with a lot of other junk.

Dax and I have been trying to get out on our own a little more than we did in Albany, and have been enjoying spending time together sans kids. One night we went to a cool, dive bar called Will's Pub.

It reminded me a lot of Bodies in Warrensburg, MO, and the years I spent there watching going to see local bands and hanging out with friends. It had just the kind of seedy atmosphere/hipster cool vibe that I like.

I'm not a big fan of going to see live music though. I used to be, but over time I've come to realize I don't really like just standing around watching a band play. This was a good night though. It was a very small crowd, which wasn't so great for the band, but nice for us. It was a much more intimate gathering. It also allowed us to spend a bit of time getting acquainted with the lead act.

That's Dax hanging with Jimbo Mathus of the Squirrel Nut Zippers. He's fronting a Mississippi blues band and is one of the most personable people I've ever met. He made an effort to remember our names and he was just steeped in genuine southern charm. Very cool guy and a really good show!

Finally, as I mentioned before, the kids (mostly Mazzy) did not take well to homeschooling. Finding people to socialize with, and outside curriculum enhancement was much harder than I thought it would be. I assumed I would get down here, find a few homeschool groups, meet up a few times and figure out what direction we wanted to go. Well, I would spend tons of time looking for groups, trying to find one meeting up soon, joining the groups so I can get updates, trying to go to a scheduled get-together with the kids only to have no one else show up! It was a lot of time and a lot of disappointment. Combining that with unpacking, finishing weddings, dealing with house issues both here and in Albany (we still haven't even closed on this house yet!), and I just felt like I was doing a terrible job and NO ONE was happy. It didn't help that the kids were barely even meeting any neighborhood kids. We live 2 blocks from an elementary school. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood, but no one ever plays outside. That's so weird to me...especially after leaving Albany where people are outside hanging on their stoops all the time. Our neighborhood can seem really empty. So finally we made the decision to enroll the kids in school for this year at least. I've gotten some info about a great magnet school that has emphasis in visual and performing arts, and there's a high school you can get into too. We're definitely going to apply for Mazzy and hope she gets in for next year. Anyway, here they are for their first day of school here in Florida. They started November 30.

Finally, now that I have finished my weddings, I'm starting to spend more time with the hobbies I never seemed to have time for before. I'm learning how to crochet, and I love it! Mazzy and I had a tea party recently while we worked on making granny squares. I love this space.

I love this girl.

So we are settling into life here in Orlando. Bit by bit, it's feeling more and more like home. I look forward to what the year ahead will bring!

It starts with an idea.

We're going to have the most family with us for Christmas than we have had in years!  Dax's mom, Armen,  and her fiance, Arnie are coming to visit, and we have Cori here too, so I'm very excited for all of that.  I'm happy for the kids that their first Christmas here will be surrounded with people to keep that holiday cheer going.  Otherwise, I think this Christmas might have been a little rough for them.  I don't mind the warm weather and doing my Christmas shopping in shorts, but I think the kids (Mazzy mostly), misses the winter wonderland, and most certainly misses her friends.  So in the frenzy of holiday baking, and prepping for Best Christmas Ever, Dax reminds me that his mom has been eating more and more vegan lately, so I should keep that in mind.  She's been vegetarian as long as I've known her, and usually it's pretty easy to make sure she has plenty that she wants while the rest of us carnivores are enjoying ours.  Vegan is a different story though.  You have to plan a little better, but fortunately, Armen is just beginning to add more vegan meals, so I don't need to worry about perfections.  What I think I want to do though, is use that time while she's here to pick her brain and practice some vegan recipes, and then when the New Year rolls around, I'm going to start a new food challenge.  

Can Melanie be vegan for 100 days?  Can I give up all caffeine, coffee, soda, and alcohol?  I've done the 30-day real food challenge, and I did the 5-day juice fast.  Surely, I can be vegan for 100 days!  I'm getting excited and am ready to prepare for the challenge.  I'm weaning myself off of caffeine now to hopefully make the adjustment a little easier in January.  I really feel like I need to try this for a multitude of reasons.

 In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the toffee and cookies I've got going on here.

Pool House, also known as Cori's House

My sister, Cori, is moving in with us this weekend. This will be the fourth state that she has moved to and lived with us at least part of the time. She's a lot of fun to be around and shares my "make do" attitude when it comes to silly things like extra bedrooms, and we decided to convert part of the pool house into a bedroom.  First, let me say that building up there in the photo can be an oven inside. It's nothing but a metal shed with a plywood floor. There is a decent chance that Cori could wake up with a gecko in her bed. We're doing what we can to avoid that though. There is no insulation in there, so this would be impossible to do in the summer time without major interior renovation. Fortunately, the weather is mild now and will be for a few months at least. I imagine pretty soon it will be getting quite cold at night and that could be a problem as well, but if you think of it like summer camp, or a beach side cabin, you can make it work. I think. And yes, if worst comes to worse, we can make room for her in the house, but this is where she'd prefer to stay. This is what it looked like to start. (forgive the foggy "before" photos. They were done with my cell phone)

Like I said, a metal shed with plywood floor. And a lot of stuff stored in there and more likely to come (as we are still unpacking). There's pretty doors in the front, and sliding glass doors in the back that can be opened for ventilation (still working on getting some sort of screening up). We decided to consolidate most of the stuff at the back end of the pool house and do the best we could with extra stuff and stuff stored in there already to at least make it look more like a living space. This is what we came up with.

We started with a couple of area rugs that we weren't using anymore, and some off-color green carpet squares (indoor/outdoor) that were in the pool house. We used the extra fencing and paneling as "walls" that could be decorated in various ways.

For the sitting area, we used our Albany porch furniture. It's a little faded, but that makes it "distressed", right?

I got that little green table out of the trash in Albany one day, and I was almost embarrassed that I had the movers bring it. I love it though and am glad there's still a use for it. The bedding is actually Cori's from when she lived in Albany with us. I think it would be cute to clothespin some photos or something to the makeshift "headboard". I don't know. There's a lot you could do there, and I'm sure Cori will want to change things to make it her own.

Mazzy decorated with paper butterflies and flowers. The two "shutter" doors on the right actually go to the kitchen, and Dax and I have already talked about hanging them back up. I'm not sure when that will happen though, so in the meantime I used them to hide an ugly corner. I also placed them upside down so the slats go upward. I thought maybe it would be a good place to hang earrings, jewelry, photos, etc.

I hung the calla lily photo by tying an polka dot scarf (again, Cori's from when she lived in Albany), through the hook in the back and then hanging it from the fence panel.

Another view of Cori's bed. It's an air mattress for now, but it has layers of sheets, sleeping bags, and the nice blanket on top. The shelves there were the kids' changing table (there's an extra piece that you attach to the top). I have no idea where the curtain thing came from, but I found it in the garage. It's pretty shabby looking, but it does the job of camouflaging the metal shelves with the the pool supplies).

And finally, one last look. It may not be year-round livable, but for not spending a penny, it's pretty cute.

Morning

I'm loving the new house, and mornings especially. We have this great Florida room (or as my sister and I call it, the Flo Rida room. lol)
and in the mornings especially, it makes a terrific little "internet cafe" kind of spot to drink my coffee, surf the web, and start my day.

I probably spend more time in this room than any other in the house, at least now while the weather is still mild. This room doesn't have central air like the rest of the house, so I know when it's hot again, it's going to be miserable in there (although there is a window unit, but I bet it would be really expensive to cool). For now though, it's the perfect place to be. Almost outside, so I can keep an eye on the kids if they're in the pool. I can work on editing. I can grab a hoop and practice with online tutorials. We have all of our board games in here and can sit at the table and play cards, put together a puzzle, or do some homeschool work. Best of all, I sit around all day in swimwear just in case I need a quick dip to cool off. Or if I just don't feel like putting on real clothes. :)

Moving on.

I've officially been an Orlando resident now for 3 weeks. So far I like it here a lot, and am enjoying the sunshine to the fullest. I will miss Albany though, and all of the great friends I made there. My last week there, I had a great girls' night dinner with some of the best ladies I've ever met! I have a hard time making friends sometimes (stupid shy), so this meant so much to me to have such a great group of women who were going to miss me and were sorry to see me go. I've moved several times over the years, and while it doesn't get easy, I do get a little used to it, but I'm always surprised when I do move, the number of people that care that I didn't really expect contrasted with the people I thought would care, but certainly didn't seem to. Regardless, it was a great week of catching up with friends and dinners out!

After about a week and a half, our stuff finally arrived! We kept all of the boxes in the garage, to try and make the rest of the house stay someone organized, and it's working so far. The tough part is trying to navigate the boxes in the garage when we're trying to find something "important". For the kids, that is TOYS! I've enjoyed watching them work together to find their things and get unpacked. I'm sure they wish we grown-ups would move a lot faster with this unpacking thing though!



If we moved any faster though, we couldn't spend all of our extra time in the pool! I never realized just how much I would love having a pool, and this is in October when it's starting to get cool even! I can't imagine how invaluable it will feel next summer when I'm cursing the Florida heat.

Other than unpacking, and poolside fun, we also took some time to Occupy Orlando. It was a great turnout, a gorgeous day, and an awesome civics lesson for the kids!








Finally, this past Saturday we went to Cocoa Beach. Dax and I were reminded a lot of our honeymoon in Ft. Lauderdale 15 years ago. That was the first time we decided that Florida was the place for us, and it looks like that is true!









The kids enjoyed their first day at the beach too. They'd both been before in California and in New Hampshire, but neither really remembered it. They hated the salt water, and much prefer swimming in the pool, but they liked playing in the sand.

However, they complained for quite a long time after about all the sand they had in their hair. hmmmm....why would that be?

It was a lovely day at the beach though, and I'm enjoying our lovely new life. Change is good.

Juice Fast

See that picture below? That is one of the many foods I turned down last night because I'm in the middle of a juice fast. (on Day 5!) Yesterday was my toughest day by far, and mostly because of the event I photographed last night. I always get fed at weddings, but I don't always get my own place card at a table with other guests, and I rarely get to have cake or dessert. Not only was I offered so much wonderful stuff, the bride approached me several times to make sure I had gotten something to eat and didn't need anything. She was so amazing and nice! I'm very blessed with the brides I've worked for, but this was definitely above and beyond, and not only was I sorely tempted with all the great food, I felt the social pressure to be polite and eat what was offered. We had even discussed the menu before, and she had asked me if I like Mediterranean food, which of course I love! There were kabobs and hummus and everything smelled great and was presented beautifully! (Shoutout to Elegant Touch Catering!). I really wasn't sure if I would stay strong, but I did. I told the bride that I was under unexpected food restrictions and wouldn't be having anything. Sweetie that she was, she said she wished she had known so she could have made accomodations for me, but I assured her that I had food in my car (food being a thermos of apple-straberry juice blended with one banana...my "cheat" to make it through the night).

I can't tell you how proud I was for sticking to my plan. I have gone so long feeling a little helpless about my weight and my health, and through this fasting process, I feel I've really tapped into some inner strength that I thought might not be there anymore. I feel like I will be able to go back to a "regular" diet with much better confidence and strength. I will be able to make better choices more consistently. I will be able to resist small temptations. You know why? Because there will be a world of things I can eat, and if I can turn them all down now, I can surely turn some of them down then.

Wining

It's been a long time since I've stayed up late with my good friend, Wine. This is cherry wine that Dax made. It's pretty good, but it's still going to give me a headache. I'm getting sick too. Not sick sick, I don't think, just a cold. Just enough to make me feel sluggish and blah.

I don't know where my head's at tonight. Probably counting up all the wrongs I've done in my life. I know that makes me sound unhappy, but I'm not. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm melancholy. I'm motivated. Maybe I downplay stuff and no one realizes what a big deal it all is. Maybe I overplay it and don't realize it and they're all just sick of me. Maybe I just don't make the impression I thought. I don't really think it's any of that though. I think people have their lives and they don't really think about anyone else's. I hope the people that I value know that they are valued. I hope they feel the same about me. I'm going to miss a lot of people when I leave here.

What's in a blog?

I think my blog is the online equivalent to the bajillion journals I've started over the years....something that occupies my thoughts for a good long time, then I shift gears, want the journal to shift gears too, but it feels like I'm always starting over so I stop. And then time passes and I start a new journal. So....I'm NOT doing that, but I am shifting gears a bit. I'm still focusing on losing weight, and I'm also focusing on getting better at hooping. I'm being a bit more proactive about it right now, and I like to have a place that I check in with that to keep me motivated, so I hope that will be here. I realize it's a public blog, but as far as I know, the only person who reads is my best friend, and I would want to share this stuff with her anyway, and sometimes facebook feels far too public!

This past weekend I decided to make a hoop video and learned a lesson about vanity! The first video I made was awesome. I felt like I pulled out almost all of my tricks and nailed them all, BUT upon rewatch, I couldn't get past how fat I looked in the video. I changed clothes and tried again and again throughout the evening, but never could match the first one. I had already mentally committed to this project and knew I wanted to post a video on Facebook, for all of my friends and family who don't really know what I mean when I say I hoopdanced for an hour. So I had a big decision to make between two very disctinct kind of vanities. Do I post the kickass hoop video where I look like I have decent flow, but I can't take my eyes off of my big stomach, or do I go with the "alright" video where I think I look better. Looking better physically won out over looking more hoop proficient. I suppose I still have some stuff in my back pocket for a future video, but I'm a little disappointed in myself that I'm not braver. or more self-confident or something.

This is the video I went with. Regardless of anything else, I am proud how much I've finally progressed. I feel like I'm turning a corner with my hooping, even if I'm not making better strides with weight loss. Hopefully that will follow!

On a lighter note, immediately after changing my clothes into the "more flattering" ensemble, I made this video. It's full of mistakes, and I quickly realized it was going to be a bad video, so i just went for it and got my silly on. In some ways, it is my favorite of all of the videos I shot!

Moving Forward

Not long after my last post, my husband lost his job. Things have been a little hectic since then, getting used to having him home, settling into a new routine, etc. One benefit, though, is dinnertime. We take turns cooking and we often are inspired to out-do one another, so for the most part, I've really been enjoying the food around here! Another interesting bit of news is I have lost 10 lbs over the past year. Now, this is not a huge weight loss by any means, but considering I have been able to get my weight to budge that much in the past three years, and the only thing different this year is that we now eat a lot less processed foods, I'm pretty darn happy! I'm not a "clean" eater yet by any means, but we do really limit the processed foods we consume and really like making things from scratch. Anyway, the weight loss as a result renews my faith that it is possible to actually lose some weight. Dax and I have also started working out semi-regularly together, and I have my hoop group I go to.

In other news, I also noticed that in my last post, I mentioned that my stomach had been bothering me. It continued longer than I was comfortable with so I finally saw a dr and then a gastroenterologist to see if I could figure out what the problem is. They started with a colonoscopy since my mother died from colon cancer. After a week of a low-residue diet, and then a day of nothing but clear liquids and a long evening of "prep", I had my first colonoscopy this morning. The prep wasn't as horrible as everyone said it would be, and the colonoscopy itself was as easy as everyone said, but the week of the low-residue diet was torture. I felt like garbage all week and had constant migraines. Normally a month supply of Imitrex (9 pills) lasts 2 months for me, but I went through this months' supply in a paltry 6 days. I don't have all the results from the colonoscopy yet, but they found 3 tiny polyps (less than 5 mm) which they're testing, but aren't worrisome (but good to get rid of!). I'll find out more about that in a couple of weeks. During that 2 weeks I'm supposed to eat dairy-free to see if I've become lactose intolerant, and then after that we may do more testing for things like gall bladder issues and gluten intolerance or Celiac. I'll just take it one step at a time though and focus on the dairy-free thing. I enjoyed a post-colonoscopy dairy-free dinner of chicken lo mein. I am also head-ache free for the longest stretch since last Thursday. I'm hoping that lasts because I don't get any more meds for 3 weeks!

Now, even though I can't have it right now, I wanted to share an incredible chicken tikka masala recipe I tried recently. It's so amazingly good (and really quite easy), I have made it twice so far. It makes a ton of leftovers too, which I love. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/06/chicken-tikka-masala-by-pastor-ryan/

My variances from the recipe:

*It always took at least twice as long as they suggested to broil the chicken. That was no big deal, but worried me the first time.

*I used 1 tsp. ground ginger rather than fresh (I already had the ground).

*I used crushed tomatoes instead of diced because I like a smoother sauce.

*I did not add the optional ingredients of cilantro (Dax doesn't like it) or chili peppers (I didn't want it spicy)

This meal was easily the best thing I've eaten in a long time, and I really hope I'm not lactose intolerant so I can have it again really soon!

Groceries

Normally I hate going to the grocery store, but today I had a good trip there! For $138 I have 5 1/2 lbs of bottom round to make into ground beef, roast, and stew, three whole chickens that were majorly on sale (These aren't happy chickens. They're the ones in Food Inc. that make me cry, but sometimes money talks), tilapia for tonight's dinner, lots of frozen veggies and plenty fresh. Three different kinds of fresh fruit, stuff for pasta and ravioli, greek yogurt, ice cream, and more! The most "processed" foods I got were the kids' Goldfish, the Stoneyfield yogurt, and the Breyer's ice cream. For the first time in awhile I feel like we have a big variety of foods to choose from. It's nice!

That said, my stomach has been bothering me lately and I think our servings of fruits and veggies had taken a dip, so I'm hoping that if I eat a little more "clean" for a few days, I can straighten this all out. I'll leave most of the meat to the other carnivores in this house and try and stick mostly to fruit, veggies, yogurt, and nuts. Maybe some oatmeal? I did make a big batch of brown rice this morning, so maybe a little of that too. I'm also back to making sure I drink enough water. I used to be fabulous about that, but that habit has fallen by the wayside along with many other good ones.

Here's to a full fridge, clean food, and staying hydrated! (and hopefully to a happier tummy.)

Indecision

I get paralyzed from indecision sometimes. It is so hard to be productive when the thought process required to decide what to have for breakfast is overwhelming. This morning

was no exception. My first thought was eggs, as it usually is, but for whatever reason I

didn't want to cook eggs this morning. I'm out of cheese so no omelet, I have no

bread for toast. I do have some bagels, but they are of the sweeter variety, and not really

good for an egg sandwich. However I could choose a bagel and cream cheese, but again, they are

a sweeter bagel, and I prefer a salty bagel/cream cheese flavor combination. Not that I'm opposed to having something sweet for breakfast, but it should be more uniformly sweet if so.

For a minute or two I consider Frosted Flakes, but then I decide I don't really want to eat that much sugar first thing in the morning. I start getting bothered about not having made a decision yet, so I think maybe I should just get a glass of Sierra Mist in the meantime and not eat anything until I decide what I want. But it would be ridiculous to turn down the Frosted Flakes because of all the sugar if I'm just going to drink a glass of sugar instead. If that's the case, I might as well have Skittles for breakfast! Oooh, Skittles...I have some. Mostly just the green ones left because they're my least favorite. Not that I won't eat green skittles. Oh I will! But they're not my first choice. OMG, Am I seriously to the point where I'm really considering eating nothing but green Skittles for breakfast? I have to do better than that! I revisit cooking some eggs, because I really like eggs, but I'd want something carby with them. I could make some brown rice because I love that with eggs, but that would take 45 minutes to cook and that's just too long! I wish I could be fine with having a bagel. Oh wait...there's sunbutter! Sunbutter on a sweeter bagel is really good! That appeals to the side of me that loves a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's THAT kind of flavor combo!

Finally, having decided on a breakfast, I put the bagel in the toaster and begin a long mental dialogue berating myself for wasting so much time trying to pick a FOOD when I have so much work that needs to get done. Or I could shower! Or exercise! Or clean something! Anything! I think about this for so long that I start to think of the voice in my head as a separate person, one that I don't have to answer to. I mentally laugh at Other Me and live in the moment for a minute or two, completely enmeshed in the moment and aware of everything going on around me.

(I am currently reading "The Power of Now" for my book club and apparently it's starting to sink into my consciousness.) I snap out of my musings to see that my bagel popped up awhile ago and I better get to it while it's still warm. That's when I look back towards the living room and notice the light coming in the front door and how pretty the piano looks bathed in the light. It could potentially make a pretty photograph so I decide to grab my camera. It won't take too long to snap a few shots. I have to take several though because the lens I'm using doesn't autofocus anymore. I have to focus it manually which isn't so bad, but my eyesight isn't very good and it's really hard for me to tell if something is in focus. Not to mention I'm shaky which means many blurry photos are inevitable. I don't mess with a lot of settings on the camera though because I know that will suck up way too much of my time and then I won't be able to resist editing them right after so I can see how they turned out. No, I'll just shoot these on Program mode and play

with them later.

Finally, my sunbutter bagel is finished and I pour a glass of milk to go with it. They look pretty together, and I think about taking a picture of it, since this IS a blog where I'm going to be talking about the things I eat. At this point, though, I figure it's best to stick with a picture of the piano and eat my food.

Yummy Stuff

I made cinnamon rolls with Mazzy today. Such a yummy and easy thing to make! Fortunately, I can be a good girl and eat just one.

This is what I would call a typical breakfast for me. The orange juice is optional, but I almost always have eggs of some sort for breakfast. This is the best omelette I have made for awhile, and that was simply because I remembered that I had broccoli in the freezer (and I love broccoli!) Typically, I use one whole egg and two egg whites for my omelettes, and I keep the extra yolks for pudding or something.

Time for a Change

So, what's new with me? Well, I got bored with myself, stopped taking pictures, stayed in a rut and got bored with that too. So this is what I want to do. I need to lose weight. I need to get in better shape. I believe that discussing my weight loss attempts is about the most boring subject on the planet, but I don't have anything better to talk about. I'll be 40 in 18 days. I don't mind so much, but I'm not happy with myself either. On the other hand, I'm not willing to give up all the yummy stuff life has to offer, so I'm going to attempt to lose weight without the diet rules everyone says I have to follow. I don't want to give up real food which means I need to conquer this adversity to regular exercise that I have. I'm hoping to enter my 40s with some big changes. At best, I'll prove that you don't have to torture yourself to change your life and reclaim your health. At worst, I'll have eaten some yummy food and maybe tried some new activities.