What's in a blog?

I think my blog is the online equivalent to the bajillion journals I've started over the years....something that occupies my thoughts for a good long time, then I shift gears, want the journal to shift gears too, but it feels like I'm always starting over so I stop. And then time passes and I start a new journal. So....I'm NOT doing that, but I am shifting gears a bit. I'm still focusing on losing weight, and I'm also focusing on getting better at hooping. I'm being a bit more proactive about it right now, and I like to have a place that I check in with that to keep me motivated, so I hope that will be here. I realize it's a public blog, but as far as I know, the only person who reads is my best friend, and I would want to share this stuff with her anyway, and sometimes facebook feels far too public!

This past weekend I decided to make a hoop video and learned a lesson about vanity! The first video I made was awesome. I felt like I pulled out almost all of my tricks and nailed them all, BUT upon rewatch, I couldn't get past how fat I looked in the video. I changed clothes and tried again and again throughout the evening, but never could match the first one. I had already mentally committed to this project and knew I wanted to post a video on Facebook, for all of my friends and family who don't really know what I mean when I say I hoopdanced for an hour. So I had a big decision to make between two very disctinct kind of vanities. Do I post the kickass hoop video where I look like I have decent flow, but I can't take my eyes off of my big stomach, or do I go with the "alright" video where I think I look better. Looking better physically won out over looking more hoop proficient. I suppose I still have some stuff in my back pocket for a future video, but I'm a little disappointed in myself that I'm not braver. or more self-confident or something.

This is the video I went with. Regardless of anything else, I am proud how much I've finally progressed. I feel like I'm turning a corner with my hooping, even if I'm not making better strides with weight loss. Hopefully that will follow!

On a lighter note, immediately after changing my clothes into the "more flattering" ensemble, I made this video. It's full of mistakes, and I quickly realized it was going to be a bad video, so i just went for it and got my silly on. In some ways, it is my favorite of all of the videos I shot!