Day 89--Swimsuit Season!

I'd be lying if I didn't say I had hoped for some major weight loss with this challenge.  I haven't gotten "major", but I have finally gotten "some".  This morning, I weighed 179.6.  I started the challenge at 192, so it's definite (albeit slow) improvement.  Now, I know I'm still technically "obese", and I don't plan on leaving my backyard in this anytime soon, but I got a new bikini.  :D  Actually, I got two.  Three if you count the fact that one of the tops is reversible.

The timing of this couldn't be more perfect because on my favorite message board, there's been lots of debate about who should and shouldn't wear a bikini.  By the message board consensus, I should definitely NOT.  But I'm doing it anyway....

Well, at least in the backyard.  ;)

Day 87--Counting Down

When I started this challenge, this is how I saw it playing out, and at first, it was exactly like this...

First 30 days: Get used to different food.  Find new "staples" to eat.  Adjust to vegan diet.

Second 30 days: Add activity.  Maintain food changes and establish exercise routine

Third 30 to the end: Everything combines seamlessly to an effective diet/exercise groove.

So the first 30 were correct, and the second 30 were mostly correct until Dax had to go to Kansas.  When that happened, I quit going to yoga, temporarily or course.  However, I haven't been back yet.  (seriously, still temporary.  Shitty couple of weeks and now it's Spring Break and the kids are home).  Also, in this last 30, I have been less than satisfied with my diet.  I'm sick of the prep.  I'm tired of trying to come up with something interesting enough to eat.  I'm tired of tackling the challenges of eating out.  Last week, we went to LegoLand, and I thought I had done the proper research before going.  There were several dining options available there that I thought I wouldn't have too hard of a time finding something to eat.  Was I wrong!  The place that offered "healthy wraps and sandwiches", only had those pre-packaged triangle-cut airport sandwiches.  It's not like there was someone there who could make something for me.  Every other place that I thought would work out, either didn't actually have anything, or the wait list was so long, I couldn't make the kids go through that.  I ended up settling on french fries after three different dining locations, but I was stilll starving.  And then the headache kicked in.  After LegoLand, we went to Ruby Tuesdays because it was close and because I knew I could have the salad bar.  For whatever reason though, this restaurant had the worst salad bar I've seen in awhile, and I hate wasting money on food that I don't think is good at all.  I finished my salad before anyone else got their entrees, and I realized I hadn't really paid attention to what anyone else had ordered.  When I found out Dax had ordered a steak, I nearly lost it.  I certainly don't begrudge him a steak, but at this point, I was so hungry, so irritable, so headachey, I couldn't fathom watching him eat a steak in front of me, so I went to the car, called my sister, Gina, and had a complete meltdown.  I suppose I could say I'm sick of rules.

Now, I know I don't have much time left, and I'm really trying to rally and finish this thing on an upswing rather than just counting down the days.  This week has been a little better.  I'm going to focus on that and keep going.

Day 63--Really???

Time is zooming by pretty fast here!  I  planned a big "Day 50" post, but that day happened the same week as my birthday, same week as my annual dr. appt. (more news there!), and same as the week Cori moved back to Missouri, same that my uncle died, and same that we found out that Dax's uncle was dying too.  (He's in Wichita right now with Family).  So it's been busy and emotional here.

I should backtrack to my birthday though, because I took pictures.  I've mentioned before about how great it is living in a city that people visit often, because I keep getting to see people that I haven't seen in a long time.  On my birthday, I was lucky enough to have my friend, Kelly, in town.  She was my manager and best friend in California, and her mom and sister live in Orlando, so she happened to be here for my birthday weekend!  Yay!

We had lunch downtown and then we went to my favorite bakery for some vegan cupcakes for later.  The bakery is pretty freaking awesome.  They're very allergy aware and serve both vegan and gluten free cupcakes.  I knew no one was going to bake me a vegan birthday cake, so I bought a box of cupcakes to let everyone off the hook.  I also bought a couple of gluten-free ones, just so I could compare (they were in the box with the regular cupcakes, which of course doesn't make them GF anymore, but it was fine for a taste comparison.) All of the cupcakes were amazing!  

Not much else happened for my birthday, but it was a really good one...nice, relaxing, and happy.  Happy 41!

So, that was my birthday.  On the 22nd, I had my dr. appt, which was basically to give me the results of my blood work.  I had it done in Albany this past summer, but I needed to do it again to get established as a new patient here.  I was excited to see if my numbers had changed since summer since at the time of the blood draw, I was already almost 50 days into the challenge.  I wish I could find my paperwork from summer.  I know I kept it, and I know I'll run across it eventually and then I'll really be able to compare, but I know definitely that my numbers improved a lot.  I just don't know by how much exactly.  First of all, for overall cholesterol, I've always ran between 195-205....not awful or anything, and not really "high", but not as good as it could be.  Now, my total cholesterol is 154.  That's a pretty dramatic change!  My bad cholesterol was 80 (should be under 130).  My good cholesterol was 41.  It should be over 46, so I'm low on that one, but the dr. said that I can improve that by eating more fish (which I will be), and my triglycerides are still a little high, but he said that would come down as I lost weight and exercised more (working on it!).  He tested my thyroid, my liver and kidney function and everything was terrific.  He even tested a bunch of vitamin levels and said that "for a vegan" I'm don't have any of the vitamin deficiencies they often see.  (yay me!)  My favorite number on that whole page though, was my Hemoglobin A1c.  I don't even know what that really means, but that number tells you your risk for diabetes, and because of my family history, my weight, and the fact that I had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies, I've always been considered higher risk.  Anyway, my number for this one was 5.6.  Anything under 5.7 indicates decreased risk of diabetes.  Decreased!  You have no idea how much I'm loving that word right now.  I want to put a bunch of gold stars on this printout and hang it on my fridge, because this is one test I worked for, and I have the proof in front of me that it paid off.  It makes me want to carry the pages around with me and pull them out whenever people treat me like I must be someone who gets all of her meals out of a bucket.  Finally, I have proof in hand that I am healthy (or at least well on the way.

That same day, I took Cori back to the airport.  She decided to move back to Missouri since she was having trouble finding full-time work here.  So here we are, just us again.  And with Dax in Wichita right now, this is the first time we've been in Florida and he hasn't.  I really liked having her here.  It was nice to have an instant friend, and it was nice to have someone willing to babysit while Dax and I went out.  But I guess it's time to toughen up and make my life for myself here without counting on Cori to make it easier.

This move has been a good one for me.  It certainly hasn't been without its challenges, and those who've been living here with me, know that I've been dealing with a lot of them lately.  And then I think about how much has changed in a year.  It was the end of February last year that Dax lost his job.  Just a few days after that, a 20 year old friendship of mine ended.  In the matter of a couple of days, I lost one of my best friends, and learned that the life we had built for ourselves in Albany, was quickly coming to an end one way or another.  It was very hard on me, not knowing where we would end up, worry about schools, the kids friends, my work, Dax's job hunt, and of course "friend" drama. Dax and I weren't doing well either although I will say, him losing his job was the best thing that could have happened to our marriage.  He was so miserable there.  I don't even think he knew quite how unhappy he was, but the amazing thing is once that job was out of the picture, and even though we were sooo worried about what might happen next, we re-established ourselves as a team and really leaned on each other.  I'm so thankful for that because I needed my friends more than ever, and mostly I was just let down.  In a lot of ways, I'm still recovering from last year. This year, as far as friends are concerned at least, may be a little "more of the same", but I feel a lot better equipped to deal with it.  Or I hope.  I'm trying to start over here, in every way that I can while preserving what matters.  I have my husband, who over the past few months has really impressed me.  He has stepped up for me in ways that really surprised me, and I'm so grateful to have him to lean on.  He really stepped up for me and it's really given me the extra boost I need to help me really change my life like I'm trying to.

There's a song by Ivy that I heard after I moved here.  Lately it's been running on a loop in my head, and may just be my Florida theme song.  For me and my family.  For me and Dax.  For me.